apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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