I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
