she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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