That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
