If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
