I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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