Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my being single is dangerous.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
