Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
