is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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