Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
