She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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