i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I party with great urgency now.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
