Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
