dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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