i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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