Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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