He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Found the puke drawer
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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