when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize