How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
