just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Rumble strips road head = magical
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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