My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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