if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
