I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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