exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
All the doctor said was why
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
