it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
