everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
