capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize