Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
