Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
