just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
