your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize