last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
