why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Holy sore nipples Batman
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
