so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize