it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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