summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
