bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
