Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize