Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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