My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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