As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I love you. Go after that dick
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize