it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
