Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
