Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize