just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize