if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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