It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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