I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
