Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Is it because I queefed?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
