he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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