I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
