i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
