Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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