i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
