Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
