Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
