oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Be still, my beating vagina.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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