Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
