Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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