I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
