i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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