I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
tell me about the fingering
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