dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
